ridles, jokes, and funny things... Options

[wingsovernc]

Halfway, after that you're running back out.

You're too good! I need to give you something a little bit harder!


A prisoner is told "If you tell a lie we will hang you; if you tell the truth we will shoot you." What can he say to save himself?

[The Day After To...]

You're too good! I need to give you something a little bit harder!
A prisoner is told "If you tell a lie we will hang you; if you tell the truth we will shoot you." What can he say to save himself?

He can keep his mouth shut.

[wingsovernc]

He can keep his mouth shut.

He has to say something..."What can he say to save himself?"

[Yakitutu]

He has to say something..."What can he say to save himself?"

tell a lie, then at the end say i'm lying?

[wingsovernc]

tell a lie, then at the end say i'm lying?

That does have some basis in truth....

The actual answer is: He tells them, "You will hang me."


Anyone else have a riddle, joke, or funny thing?

[mmi16]

Wallpapering

A blonde decided to decorate her bedroom. She wasn't sure how many rolls of wallpaper she would need but he knew that her blonde friend next door had recently done the same job and the two rooms were identical in size.

"Buffy," she said, "How many rolls of wallpaper did you buy for your bedroom?"

"Ten," said Buffy.

So the blonde bought the ten rolls of paper and did the job, but had 2 rolls left over.

"Buffy," she said. "I bought ten rolls of wallpaper for the bedroom, but I've got 2 left over!"


























"Yes," said Buffy. "So did I

[stusson]

What about GI overseas?

This is correct!

[wingsovernc]

This is correct!

Yea!!! I got something right (I get by with a little help from my friends...lol ).
I'll post another one....

Dee Septor, the famous magician, claimed to be able to throw a ping-pong ball so that it would go a short distance, come to a complete stop, and then reverse itself. He also added that he would not bounce the ball off any object, or tie anything to it. How could he perform this trick?

[mmi16]

Departures & Arrivals

Each Friday night I drove my wife to the train station so she could go visit her sister who was ill. Ten minutes later, MY sister arrived by train so that she could manage our house over the weekend while my wife was gone...

On Sundays this procedure worked in reverse with my sister departing by train ten minutes before my wife arrived.

One evening, after my sister left and, while I awaited my wife's arrival, a porter sauntered over.

"Mister," he said, "you sure have some system going! But one of these days you're goin' to get caught!"

[mmi16]

Hang Ups

A teenage girl had been talking on the phone for about 10 minutes. Then she hung up.

"Wow!," said her father, "That was short. You usually talk for two hours. What happened?"

"Wrong number," replied the girl.

[mmi16]

A post-Thanksgiving Poem

Twas the night after Thanksgiving, but I just couldn't sleep
I tried counting backwards, I tried counting sheep.

The leftovers beckoned - the dark meat and white,
but I fought the temptation with all of my might.

Tossing and turning with anticipation,
the thought of a snack became infatuation.

So, I raced to the kitchen, flung open the door
and gazed at the fridge, full of goodies galore.

I gobbled up turkey and buttered potatoes,
pickles and carrots, beans and tomatoes.

I felt myself swelling so plump and so round,
till all of a sudden, I rose off the ground.

I crashed through the ceiling, floating into the sky
With a mouthful of pudding and a handful of pie

But, I managed to yell as I soared past the trees ...
happy eating to all - pass the cranberries, please!

[mmi16]

REDNECK COMPUTER TERMS



BACKUP - What you do when you run across a skunk in the woods

BAR CODE - Them's the fight'n rules down at the local tavern

BUG - The reason you give for calling in sick

BYTE - What your pit bull dun to cusin Jethro

CACHE - Needed when you run out of food stamps

CHIP - Pasture muffins that you try not to step in

TERMINAL - Time to call the undertaker

CRASH - When you go to Junior's party uninvited

DIGITAL - The art of counting on your fingers

DISKETTE - Female Disco dancer

FAX - What you lie about to the IRS

HACKER - Uncle Leroy after 32 years of smoking

HARDCOPY - Picture looked at when selecting tattoos

INTERNET - Where cafeteria workers put their hair

KEYBOARD - Where you hang the keys to the John Deere

MAC - Big Bubba's favorite fast food

MEGAHERTZ - How your head feels after 17 beers

MODEM - What ya did when the grass and weeds got too tall

MOUSE PAD - Where Mickey and Minnie live

NETWORK - Scoop'n up a big fish before it breaks the line

ONLINE - Where to stay when taking the sobriety test

ROM - Where the pope lives

SCREEN - Helps keep the skeeters off the porch

SERIAL PORT - A red wine you drink with breakfast

SUPERCONDUCTOR - Amtrak's Employee of the year

SCSI - What you call your week-old underwear

[Carnage]

Yea!!! I got something right (I get by with a little help from my friends...lol ).
I'll post another one....

Dee Septor, the famous magician, claimed to be able to throw a ping-pong ball so that it would go a short distance, come to a complete stop, and then reverse itself. He also added that he would not bounce the ball off any object, or tie anything to it. How could he perform this trick?

Throw the ball straight up into the air

[Xtract3000]

why is it called a funny bone, when you hit it, its not funny at all...

Does it have something to do with the fact that the upper arm bone is scientifically called the humorous...?

[mmi16]

Cleaning Supplies

When a young man left his dorm and moved into an apartment, he went shopping for cleaning equipment...

His cart was loaded with a broom, mop, dust-pan, sponges and a full array of cleaning products...

At the last minute he topped off his cart with a lone food purchase -- a large bag of potato chips.

Seeing the checkout clerk's quizzical look, he explained, "I'm a very messy eater."

[mmi16]

 cat_hood.jpg ( 27.93K ) Number of downloads: 0